Out of respect...

As a sign of respect to Wai Seng, there will be silence on my part to mourn for the loss of the parents.

Also, I'm about to make some changes to my life and will need some time to think and reflect. Hopefully, it won't be too long.

To Wai Seng's parents, we are here for you. They say that things happen for a reason. At this point in time, you may question that. And you have every right to. But that doesn't change that we will be here for you.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

My name is SAM

Super Active Mutt

Now that the two boys are getting better, I can tell you about our news. We have a new addition to the family!

Two Sundays ago, hubby & I went to a dog rescue place to look at puppies. I had my eye on a jack russell cross daschund but hubby thought that she would be too small. So we picked another puppy from the group.

She's small with liquid brown eyes and the colour of black, white and salt and pepper. She's got a streak across her side/back that looks like a cross between a lightening bolt and half of a heart shape.

The pet store guy where we got her kennel and other puppy stuff said that she'll like water (yet when I gave her a bath, she squirmed and complained loudly).

She's now 9 weeks old and is intelligent (so says the vet and from what we've seen). When we first got her, she would run to her favourite spot and curl up into a ball whenever I scolded her (trying earnestly to look innocent). Now, she just barks back at me (sounds like a teenager talking back!). She also walks away when I scold her (and when I say where do you think you're going, turn back and give me a pathetic look)!

She's gotten into the habit of climbing onto my lap and curling up to fall asleep. Sometimes, she has dreams and she tremors. Sometimes, she stretches and falls over (it's so funny to watch).

And when she's awake, her goal is to chew my fingers or toes to bits. That or chew her toy to bits...or somehow manage to get it under the couch and try to crawl under the couch to retrieve it, ultimately getting stuck.

Everyday, when I'm at work, I miss her. I don't miss the pee's that she does when she comes into the house (what can I say, we're still in the process of toilet training her). But I miss her company when I'm not there.

& every morning before I leave to work, it breaks my heart to say bubbye. She knows it and makes it harder by sitting on my feet and looking at me. And then she whines... reminds me of a crying child that you leave at daycare.

Some think her antics are hilarious. Others think that it's so cute (reminds them of their dogs a long long time ago). And some say that this is good practice for when we have a child.

I say that if this is good practice, I think we could probably put off having a baby for a little while longer. Just don't mention it to my mom.

When the Lord closes a door

He opens a window

I've always liked this saying from The Sound of Music. I believe that it's true.

Danny, we feel for your family and we are sorry that you and your family have to go through this grief. When you sms'd me your decision, I was in shock. I couldn't believe that you were giving up hope. But I respect your decision. And as parents, I'm sure it was a hard one to make.

I hope however that knowing the following gives you some sort of comfort:

The Buddhist believe that when a baby is born into the world and is taken away soon after, that he is a very pure being. This rebirth is his final reincarnation before he enters Nirvana, or what is known as Heaven. It is his karma that he has to suffer briefly, to be purged of all sins, before he is led into Heaven.

I don't know if you have left Wai Seng's life in the hands of the Lord yet. But whatever the case, we will still continue to pray. Both for him, as well as for the both of you. & we haven't forgotten our twin boys just yet...

Every breath you take...

I'll be watching you

Recently, a good friend, DN, sms'd me to say that his baby has a heart disorder. It's called TAPVD - Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Drainage. Babies who have this disorder usually pass away a few weeks after birth if the disorder is not detected and is left untreated. It is a rare disease, compromising 1% of all congenital heart abnormalities.

This is his story:

"My parents brought him to a clinic in my hometown for a checkup. Several issues were raised and from the diagnosis, the doctor mentioned that Wai Seng has a heart disorder and needed to be admitted immediately. He was referred to another Paediatrician in Gleneagles and was admitted last Saturday. According to the doctor, it is a miracle that he could live now until now as it is common for babies with this disorder to pass on within few weeks from birth. It was simply a miracle!

An operation to correct this disorder was scheduled on 9 July 2007. However on the eve of the operation day, his body refused to function and he had a cardiac arrest. We were with him, and we saw him breathing his last breath, and looking at all the doctor and nurses trying their best to resuscitate him. Our prayers were answered and he was revived!

He is now in ICU and we have engaged 3 specialists, the similar Paediatrician, a Heart Surgeon, and a Post-Operative Doctor, to look into his needs. Our families and friends are praying for his recovery. My heartfelt gratitude and thanks to all of them who prayed and continue praying for Wai Seng."

This is the second good friend who has had baby issues. My other good friend's son is also in ICU. This boy's twin brother, sadly, did not make it.

It makes me sad that such young, innocent angels have to suffer such trials so early in their lives. It just makes me appreciate even more what DN said - "It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. As long as it's healthy, that's all that we pray for".

I ask that you join me in prayer for these two boys. I pray for hope - I hope they will continue to be the little soldiers that they are, and fight for life because they've made it this far. It is truly amazing to behold, the will power of something so tiny. Perhaps there is a lesson that we can take away from this. That size or age or religion does not matter. Tenacity can overcome many things. A baby's will power can overcome many things. Sometimes, even death.

Note to self

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job...

How do I love thee? Oh let me count the ways.
I love thee to the death of my sight,
My stomach heaves, my fist is clenched tight.
For the end of living and everyday haste,
Oh why do I try, it's just such a waste.
Most quiet need be, I work til the night,
I love thee so much, I do what is right.
I love thee so true, I believe I'd turn blue,
From being a good employee, so much unlike you.
I love thee with passion, put to good use,
But never will I get any of the dues.
For you promise so much, but so little you give,
I bet you don't even care if I live!
So to work I say, I do love you so,
Just like a blister on my big toe.
Just like lying on a bed of nails,
You work so slow, even worse than a snail.
I don't care anymore, I'll just walk away,
Perhaps then, you might notice, hey!
But I look at the bills, oh boy there's a few,
So I harden my heart and get back in the queue.

Back to the slog, back to the rat race,
Back to being shoved in my square littl' place.
I must remember to breathe, to remember there's an end,
Perhaps, only then, we could possibly be friends.
Perhaps...
But I'd probably shove a stake through my heart first.