Ahhh, just when you think things are going smoothly, life throws a wrench in the works. My dad had a stroke and is pretty much paralysed on the right hand side of his body.
I don't mean to complain but I am so tired. Tired of being the last to know. Tired of being the one who does the coordinating. Tired of being the go between. Tired of cleaning up after everyone. Just plain tired.
But most of all, I am sad. Of the extremely verbose and rich English language, this simple word sums up how I feel so succinctly.
I am sad that my dad will never be the same again. It has been shocking how much muscle and weight he has lost. And his speech...my multilingual father is reduced to a few simple words.
I am sad that my mom is beyond exhausted and that I can't do enough to help. And the light at the tunnel is still so so far away.
I am sad that my child will not know her grandfather as I know him. He was the man who taught me to ride a bike, catch a fish and sprint 100m. He nurtured my love for music and made me the analytical, methodical person that I am.
But most of all, in the depths of my soul, I am just plain sad. Terribly, unjustifiably sad. It is so unkind of God to leave such a strong man so weak and vulnerable. So terribly unkind.
But we must continue. For one day, we will come to the end of the tunnel. And hopefully, there will be light.
Please God, let there be light...