The Hardest Thing...

Ahhh...it's been awhile since I've been blogging. Perhaps it's time to
change from the Weekender Moo to the Once In A Blue Moon (if you're
lucky) Moo. But regularly blogging is not the hardest thing.

I'm sure there's going to be other things that come later that are
hard but this seems insurmountable at the moment. I never thought that
this would be as hard as it is...but it is.

I can't seem to bring myself to leave the house with baby.

When you put that in type, geez, it sounds like I have a condition or
some phobia. I never thought that I'd be one of these people who's
life would stop once baby came.

But it has. Well, for the time being anyway.

Doing anything ordinary seems hard. Anything ordinary is
extraordinary. Having a shower, cooking a meal, sleep...oh how I miss
sleep. Like they say, you don't realise how much you miss something
till it's gone.

But still, that isn't as hard as leaving the house.

I've gone out with mom + baby and hubby + baby but not just me + baby.
I don't know what it is...maybe it's the fear of not being able to
handle her...or of breastfeeding in a strange place...I don't know.

But I must do it. Mom will be going home soon...so I have a deadline...

Can I do it?

Baby's First New Year

Ahhh...already, she's been with us for 12 days...and already our worlds have been turned upside down, inside out, round and round. Its been more amazing, frustrating, tiring, rewarding, crazy, unbelievable, stressful (you name it, we've probably gone through it) all rolled up in these 12 days than anything that we've possibly been through in any 12-day period.

And like true new parents, we welcomed the New Year by being asleep. Hubby and I went to bed at the same time (early!) since it had been an exhausting day of cleaning up after baby (she threw up twice! Once over her Nanna and the other time all over her cot) and had the momentous occasion of having her umbilical cord come off.

But what I found amazing given how tired we had both been is how we shared a moment in the middle of the night. For some reason, I had awakened and hubby had awakened at the same time and we just turned in bed and looked at each other...it was like something had made us both get up at the same time and made us look at each other. Something passed between us, I don't know what it was - it was fleeting, unspoken and beautiful...and before I knew it, we've both leaned into each other to share a New Year's kiss. And then we both went back to sleep...so unexpected, so simple yet so meaningful. I think so anyway...

So I hope you've managed to spend this New Years' with your loved ones, be it awake or asleep, in bed or out and about somewhere out there. Make some memories to cherish with each other and have a year ahead that sticks in your mind as a special one (or resolve to make it a special one).

Happy 2011!